And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

@Title: not at all, I'm actually a generally very happy person, not depressed at all, unless of course spasmic feelings of inadequacy count as depression? If not then we're good.

I just think the song from which the line comes is amazing, that's all.

Its one of those songs that fills your mind with images. You know, like things you usually don't think about because you don't have time, life gives you no free time.

Like today, when I heard it, I thought of fireflies. Flickering in the summer time, lawns, laughter, running, stars, warm nights. And with those thoughts, inevitably, came the thought of India, and nostalgia hit.

(If I had to characterize my life with one feeling, I would choose this one).

It comes with a flash, taking over all my senses, forcing me to succumb to its power, forbidding me from thinking of anything other than the place I come from. It takes over me completely, and I wish it would stop, leave me alone, I don't want to live in the past, but it won't go away until I've cried my eyes out, mourning for the past, for a future I know I won't have. Then it leaves, satisfied, leaving me in its wake, so, so sad, hopeless, torn.